So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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