I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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