mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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