if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Boobs are out for the taking
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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