My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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