Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
