how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
