I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
