i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
