I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
