What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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