A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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