Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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