i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
