Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
