How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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