try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
