i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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