24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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