I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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