That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
