I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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