oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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