Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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