He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
