Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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