Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
if only i could text you this smell
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
