I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
