i don't like sucking hair
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
