So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
