despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
