So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
