haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
