We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
