Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i think my tv is drunk
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
me + whiskey = a bad person
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
