He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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