i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
