i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
