we have pet lesbian snakes
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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