So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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