Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
