I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
