Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
