Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
