At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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