it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
