so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
