no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
