the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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