in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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