Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
