come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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